no matter how much everything hurts
by Tsume Yuki
Summary: In a universe where you can accept half the pain your soulmate is feeling, Luffy wishes he could take it all on. LawLu


As soon as Luffy is old enough to understand where the pain is coming from, he takes it. He takes it all on, he takes it without question. Doesn't even think about closing it all off.

There's always a lingering ache in his body and it gets worse as the years goes on, like something is draining him, constantly draining him.

But he takes it.

Because Makino said soulmates are the most precious things in the world, even though so very few people get to ever meet theirs.

Luffy takes on all the pain he can, because out there somewhere, his soulmate is hurting. Even if they'll never meet, they're already Luffy's Nakama, so he'll do anything in the world to help them.

It gets worse when Luffy's six, sometimes it feels like he's being kicked in the ribs, sometimes it feels like he's being punched and smacked and it really hurts. But Luffy keeps taking it all, and he learns to smile through the pain, so Makino doesn't have to worry about him.

But Luffy does worry about his soulmate.

Why are they always hurting?

Why are people always hurting what is Luffy's? It gets better near half way through Luffy's sixth year of life, and even though the dull ache intensifies, he grows used to it, lives through it.

Because it's not as bad as the sharp stabbing kicks, or the blunt slaps or the hard punches.

The boy doesn't realise that he's opening himself up fully, that he's so often checking upon the bond that it's not just physical pain that he can feel anymore.

Luffy eats Shanks' Devil Fruit just after turning seven; he's rubber now, he'll never experience pain from a fall, or from a punch or a kick so if his soulmate is listening to their bond, they won't feel any pain because Luffy can't get hurt like that anymore.

It's three days after that when a new pain hits Luffy, one that robs his breath from his lungs.

It hurts, it hurts so much and it feels like his chest is constricting, closing in. It feels like nothing he's ever felt before.

Luffy sobs, heart-breaking sounds that escape his throat, and it hurts, it hurts so much.

Makino makes him close the bond with his soulmate, only for a little while. Because emotional pain hurts so much more, it crippled Luffy, and it tears the seven year old up inside to wonder what his soulmate has just lost.

He has to have lost something, something really important to make him cry like that.

He hates that Makino makes him promise to not tune into the emotional hurt, not until he's older and able to handle it better.  
But he promises, because how else can he grow strong enough to protect his soulmate if he's hamstrung by that pain?

Shanks saves his life, and Luffy almost begins to understand what emotional pain is. He wishes the soulmate bonds weren't based on pain, that he could send his soulmate the burning fire that erupted in his chest when Shanks gave him the strawhat. But that's not how things work.

Then Luffy loses Sabo and he finally understands.

Did his soulmate lose a brother too? Someone they loved?

Luffy is always taking half his soulmate's pain, only the physical because Makino made him promise. Until he sets out to sea, no more emotional pain.

He can't take all of his soulmate's physical pain, though he wishes he could. If only he were stronger, if only the soulmate rules weren't so stupid.

He hopes he finds them.

Luffy will become Pirate King, he promised Shanks. He'll become the freest man in the world, and then he'll be able to protect his soulmate; no one will hurt them. When he's Pirate King, Luffy will be able to do whatever he wants, no one will be able to stop him.

If he wants to be able to make sure his soulmate never hurts again, then that is exactly what he'll do.

He grows strong, he gets Nakama, he has adventures.

He loses Ace, loses his last brother, and for once all the pain he experiences is his own.

Like every time he experiences pain though, he's reminded of what he's got left, and eventually Luffy manages to force himself to continue onwards, to keep going.  
No matter how much everything hurts.

They're fighting Doflamingo, Luffy's fighting and fighting and he barely has time to register that his soulmate is out there, hurting somewhere too.

It pushes him on, bolsters him further, makes him fight that much harder. They're always getting hurt, always hurting, and their emotional pain is there too.

Luffy can feel it again, it's bitter and old, full of fear and near-hopelessness but Luffy doesn't give up.

He pushes and pushes and then he wins.

Waking up in a little shack where they're recovering, Luffy stares at Traffy, who's nursing his arm, the arm that got chopped off. Only it's back on again now, though he's going to have a scar.

Luffy's hands rub at the scar upon his own chest, wondering if his soulmate had been open at that point, if they'd felt the pain Luffy had experienced.

"Hey, Traffy. Is your arm okay?"

Traffy looks up at him, eyes bright and gold before his gaze flicks away.

"It'll be fine, Strawhat-ya."

"It's funny, my arm hurts too."

And isn't it weird that Luffy's soulmate gets hurt at the same time Traffy does. Even in the same place. It's really weird.

Does that mean there's Traffy's soulmate somewhere out there feeling like his arm had been cut off?

Luffy knows the amount of pain that'd coursed through his arm had hurt like he was experiencing it himself, but-

"Strawhat?"

Luffy's eyes snap up because it almost sounded like Traffy was being strangled, that or he'd got a bone stuck in his throat. But that's silly because they don't have any meat.

He's so hungry.

Luffy's stomach gives an agreeable growl and he pats his midriff in an attempt at comfort.

"Your arm hurts?" Traffy says and there's something funny in his eyes. Like how Sanji looks at Nami when they've been separated for a while, or how Zoro looks at a bar when they finally dock on an island.

"Yeah," Luffy chirps, rocking back and forth as he frowns.

"Ow!" The strawhat adorned teen jumps when there's a sensation like a pinch on his ribs, and he scowls, rubbing at the skin.

Just because he's rubber doesn't mean he can't feel a pinch if his soulmate get's one.

When he looks back up at Traffy, the other captain is staring at him, one hand by his ribs and his eyes are wide, really wide.

Almost like he's figured something out.

Which Luffy wouldn't be surprised about, because Traffy's really smart.

"Traffy? Everything okay?"

* * *

 **I have no idea why I've never posted this here, but take this during my 'teaching is hard I'll someday get into the swing of it to the point I can write during term' hiatus.**

 **Tsume**

 **xxx**


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